Between Stability & Struggle

Life in the lower middle socio-economic class is a constant negotiation between what you need, what you can afford, and what you have to sacrifice. It is a space where stability exists, but barely. Where you’re not poor enough to qualify for full assistance but not financially secure enough to live comfortably. Each month started to become a balancing act, and that is more obvious in the way you can eat, where you shop, and how you try to take care of yourself.

For my family, food is one of the clearest examples of what it means to live in a space where you are in the lower part of the middle class. It isn’t just what is on the table. It's about budgeting, stress, health, and the emotional weight of knowing that even something as basic as groceries can push us past our limits.

Living on EBT: Numbers Behind This Struggle

When people hear “EBT” they think that it can solve everything. They imagine a card loaded with enough money to feed a family so they don't have to worry. But in reality it is far from that. Our EBT balance usually sits around $400, sometimes $600, and rarely $800. But even when it's higher, it never stretches as far as people think. Most months, my family hits the $400 mark quickly. Groceries are expensive—painfully expensive. Especially when you are feeding a family of five, that money disappears quicker than it comes in. Sometimes we go over the budget entirely where it leaves my dad having to pay out of pocket to cover the rest of the grocery bill. Watching him have to pull out his card after the EBT balance runs out is a reminder of how tight things really are when you are a family of five. Part of it is because we buy unnecessary items, but it is also because food costs more than we realize, and the lower middle class are already walking on a thin line between “almost having enough” and “not having enough at all.”

There is a specific type of stress that does come with knowing that your meals are depending on the numbers that fluctuate, and shrink, but never match what you need it to be. This stress follows you into adulthood, into college, and in every decision you are making about food and money before you even realize it. It continues into college, when you become more aware of how life becomes different when you are able to choose what you are able to eat. It is in every decision you make about food, what you buy, what you try to avoid, how much you are eating, how guilty you start to feel, and how carefully you start rationing things that you enjoy, because you started to learn that hunger has a price, even comfort has a limit.

College Changed the Way I Ate

I ate better in college than I do at home. It's not because the dining hall food is good or because I had money that I could spend, but it is because my girlfriend cooks for me. She makes real meals that make me feel full, that I actually like to eat, that I can eat for days, and it doesn't feel like survival food.

The dining hall gave me more variety and consistency than I got at home. I could grab sandwiches, salads, Italian smoked sausages, hamburgers, French fries, tacos, and pulled pork. It wasn't fancy but it was enough to keep me full. Enough to give me options.

We would spend around $120 on groceries. Which somehow she made them into days worth of meals. She stretched ingredients in ways that made me realize how much food can be created when someone wants to cook. It wasn’t just cheap food, it was food I actually enjoyed. 

I wasn't eating fast food constantly, either. In the fall semester, I only ate fast food twice every two weeks, sometimes three times every three weeks. Which is nothing compared to how often some college students are relying on takeout.

College isn't perfect, but I had access to food that didn't make me feel drained or disappointed. I could choose what I wanted. I could eat until I was full. I could enjoy meals without worrying about the cost behind them.

My Girlfriend’s Food At A Quarter Of The Price Of My Family Budget

A big shock was realizing how my girlfriend can make a dollar stretch. With just a quarter of what my family spends at home, she made meals that lasted for days, cooked with intention, using ingredients that could be used in multiple dishes, planning meals that were filling, and tried not to use processed foods that disappear quickly. 

At home we would buy food that wasn't what I wanted or what the rest of the family wanted to eat. Sometimes it was cheap snacks, frozen meals, and things that just don't go together. Sometimes it was the food that would fill the pantry but not my stomach. Sometimes it was food that I simply don't like, which makes eating feel like it was a choice instead of something that was enjoyable. 

When someone cooks with care, there is a clear difference. When someone cooks with a budget, the difference is even bigger.

Some Meals Made With A Fourth Of the Budget

• Sausage and potatoes

• Buffalo chicken dip

• Spaghetti with chicken and vegetables 

• Buffalo chicken sliders

• Roasted herb chicken

• Baked potatoes with chicken and vegetables

• Tacos

• Hamburger casserole (that her mom made)

• Quinoa casserole (that her mom made)

• Salsa chicken (that her mom made)

• Vegetables topped with taco seasoning

The meals that I have eaten aren't just food, they are comfort and stability. It was proof that eating well doesn’t have to be expensive, but requires time, skill, and planning. Things that not every household has the luxury to rely on.

How This Affected Me

I don't usually like the food that I have at home, I end up eating less, or even eating the wrong things. I want to eat but not the food that we get. This led to me skipping meals, snacking instead of eating actual food, or sometimes overeating when something I actually liked was made.

In college, I am eating consistently. I was eating meals that were making me full. I was eating food that gave me energy, but at home my diet feels incomplete. Some days I would barely eat. Other days I would eat whatever was around, even if it wasn't healthy. It wasn't just about willpower—it was about access.

Food insecurity isn't about not having food. Sometimes it is about not having the right food. The food that fuels you—the food that makes you feel human.

My weight is harder to manage at home than it is at college. When you're eating real meals, protein, vegetables, carbs, that can actually fuel you it is way easier to maintain or lose weight. But when your diet is irregular, eating food that you don't enjoy or when eating cheap, processed items because it is available your body does react negatively.

At home trying to lose weight feels like it is impossible. I don't have control over the meals that I eat. I don't have the same consistency or the same quality of food at home as I do in college. When you're also stressed about money, stressed about food, and stressed about life in general, your body starts to hold onto the weight even more.

Food affects more than just your stomach it also affects your mental health. When you are constantly thinking about where the next meal is going to come from, worrying about whether the groceries will last, feeling guilty for eating too much or too little, it wears you down. 

At home, I really feel the weight of financial stress every time I open the fridge and I see a completely full fridge wondering if this will last my family for at least a month and a half. Or opening the fridge and seeing an empty fridge because we ate everything already. I also feel the pressure of not wanting to waste food, even if I don't like the food that is in the fridge. I feel the frustration of wanting to eat healthier but not being able to because of the food that is accessible to my family and I. I also feel the exhaustion of knowing that eating well shouldn’t be this hard. The food is a reminder of food that we can't afford.

In college, food isn't a source of stress. It was something that I actually liked looking forward to. It was something that had made me feel cared for. It made me feel human.

Being inside of the lower middle socio-economic class is constantly weaving through the space between stability and struggle in the most basic places of life, like eating, becoming tied to the stress, sacrifice, and the uncertainty. My experience at home and in college has shown me how food can reflect on the realities of the socio-economic class. The limits of an EBT balance, having the emotional weight of grocery trips, the difference intentional cooking can make, and how access can shape physical and mental health. 

Eating well shouldn't feel like it is a privilege but for many families like mine it is. Between meals I’ve had in college and the ones at home the ingredients aren’t the only difference. 

It shows a gap between surviving and living. Until the gap is closed, food will still be more than nourishment; it will be a constant reminder of every day battles that have defined the lower socio-economic class.