Memorial Day Feels Different to Me

Each year Memorial Day is celebrated, but the real question is: why is it celebrated? People often forget the true meaning of this federal holiday and most of the time chalk it up to “a day off” rather than a day of remembrance. It’s a day where we reflect on all of the servicemen and women who have fallen for this country. It’s a day where we are grateful that our military made it home safely, and sympathize with the families that didn’t have that luxury. 

I’m a former military child, I have held this status for almost a year, but don’t discredit me, I grew up in the military lifestyle for 17 years. My father served for 20 in the United States Marine Corps, and before that his father, and his father before that. My family is composed of seven generations of Marines, and I am prouder than ever. So proud that at a specific point in my life I wanted to join. Holding this status of being a former military child feels wrong. At the same time I am appreciative that it was prior to my adult life so all the moving that we do is completely my own. I also don’t have to worry about changing schools in the middle of the year.

The military has brought ups and downs to my life but I will be forever thankful to the experiences that I was given because of it. If I wasn’t affiliated with the military I wouldn’t have lived in Hawaii for three years, I wouldn’t have lived in New York for four years. Living in a variety of places allowed me to experience things that people my age typically don’t get to see until their adult years. It taught me how to adapt quickly and assimilate accordingly.

Memorial Day isn’t just a day to have a cookout with hotdogs and hamburgers, it isn’t just to invite family over and socialize. We have a cookout with just our four person family, but when it’s casually celebrated it feels foreign. It’s to remember that troops in warzones have died to secure the American Dream of freedom. It’s to remember that America is only free because of the extraordinary people who put in work day in and day out to make sure that their country is protected. 

From a military standpoint it’s hard to say that Memorial Day means nothing when you have that common fear of wondering if your parents or even a family member will make it home safely. This is a very real emotional weight that flourishes in military families and we carry it silently. A very specific moment I remember is when we lived with my grandma because my father got deployed to Japan for training. I was in a bedroom with my mother and sister and we called him, and I genuinely thought at the age of nine I was going to lose my father forever. It was a training deployment, yes there are factors that could’ve taken him from me, but they weren’t as large as when he was deployed to Afghanistan or Iraq. This fear is still very real and one that military children share when their parents are deployable. Memorial Day for my father is very different from what others can say about it. He has friends that have fallen for various reasons in warzones, and that is something that I don’t take for granted. Sacrifices have been made for this country and it is something that each and every one of us need to acknowledge. Today isn’t about politics or a “day off,” it’s a day where we remember why America is so free.