If Everyone Else Thought it Was Weird: Individuality and Online Trends

Imagine yourself without social media. 

You might be thinking about all the time you would have on your hands without the constant entertainment, or how much better your sleep would be without obsessively scrolling on tiktok before bed. But that’s not all. Because social media shapes us more than we realise… 

I took a dive into the depths of my ‘end wardrobe’ the other day. The ‘end wardrobe’ is literally the wardrobe at the end of my bedroom. But it is also the wardrobe where I carelessly shove everything that I don’t want to look at anymore, so that my other wardrobe can look ‘put together.’ 

You could have called it a micro-trend museum. The high-rise mom jeans I was convinced I needed in 2019, the swirly-patterned top I thought I loved in 2020, and mountains more, all haphazardly thrown in there. All things I was influenced to buy through social-media trends – instead of true individuality.  

But what is true individuality? That is something I’m still figuring out. In a world of fast fashion and micro-trends that are forced into our faces everywhere we go (stores, online, in advertisements on the streets), it’s extremely difficult to distance ourselves from it. However, my idea of ‘true individuality’ is simply being our rawest, realest selves without the need to fit in or please others. The problem is, social media convinces us that these trends are our rawest, realest selves.

How? . ‘Clean girl aesthetic,’ ‘grunge aesthetic,’ ‘gothic aesthetic’ – the list goes on, and on, and on, and on…

On social media, ‘aesthetics’ are used to encapsulate a vibe or style, and are usually associated with their own colors, items, lifestyle, and even phrases or language – and a lot of them are trends that die down within a year. The issue that arises with this is that we start to feel like we cannot leave the aesthetic we identify with. For example, you might feel like you can’t buy a dark item of clothing, because on social media, the ‘clean girl aesthetic’ that you love does not promote dark clothing. 

I call this an ‘identity trap.’ These aesthetics make us feel like we have an identity, yet at the same time they trap us inside their micro-trend walls and convince us to stay within the borders, preventing us from ever developing that identity. 

But social media affects more than just fashion; it influences the way we speak and the way we live. Those ‘brain rot’ jokes you make with your friends, or your new favourite movie that is also everyone else's favorite movie online, or the new drink you're just dying to try just because everyone loves it on TikTok – is that who you really are? People are all slowly becoming the same. 

Trends within the media have the power to alter the way we express ourselves, as well as view ourselves; we cannot disregard the clear correlation between social media usage and poor self esteem. The overwhelming amount of trends that circulate the internet have expanded, from simply the latest cute accessory to beauty standards too; certain nose shapes, lip sizes, and body types are also parts of the rigorous, impractical cycle of trends that are all crafted for capitalism; the more frequently we buy, the more money these businesses make.

Once you become aware of these issues with individuality on social media, a new dilemma emerges: how do you differentiate between something you actually like and a trend you are being manipulated into? It is easy to believe we love something when everyone else is doing it, which can make it hard to trust our opinions. My advice: think to yourself, would you still want this if everyone else thought it was weird? 

Although, this is easier said than done. Letting go of the desire to fit in is challenging; this desire is the reason we are in an individuality crisis to start with! If people didn’t care what others thought, trends wouldn’t have nearly as much impact as they do in our society, because we’d all simply be who we are. 

And this is where social media, in a way, can also enhance individuality. Despite all that I have previously said, the brave ones who choose not to fit in and to pay trends no mind can still find their people – through social media, funny enough. A teen girl who gets bullied in her hometown for dressing differently could post on Instagram and get floods of compliments for her originality and uniqueness, and a gay boy who gets picked on in class can go on to Tiktok where he can connect with people just like him, and that’s the beautiful power of the online world. 

The internet has its many downsides, from micro-trends to online hate, but you cannot doubt the hopefulness of the community that it brings people. Unfortunately, it also brings along trends that are impossible to escape; they keep the world (more specifically, the economy) turning, and you know what, they keep life exciting! But it is down to us to try to minimize the weight they have on us, and to remember: would you still want this if everyone else thought it was weird?